Credit one

I am a housewife with two children, a daughter who is a spirited three year old known as Pickel and a boy who is a big eater of bananas at one years old, known to us as Ru, a dog Mali, a cat Silvo and last but by no means least a husband, a very talented artist.

To keep the home fires burning I am currently doing three part time jobs, couple work two nights a week, selling home made chili sauce (made by the husband at night) and working in a vintage clothes shop. We have a lovely aupair who has now become our lodger and I am trying to find her extra jobs as every one's income is low on the ground.

Last night we had the neighbours around for nibbles and wine, the man wants Spanish conversation with my aupair. We all drank allot of wine and once the neighbours had left we flagged it up with the aupair that she should make sure it was only Spanish conversation that he wanted!

The chili sauce production has ground to a hault due to the health and safety petrol in our local market. I don't feel our kitchen is up to scratch with Silvo the kitten's cat litter, Mali the dog giving it a good clean and the children's helping hands at meal times scattering food like snowflakes daily.

The house is like an ice box, something keeps fusing the fuse box and we all take it in turns in darkness trying to get light onto the situation. I just managed to laugh, returning from couples work ( although tonight was slim on the ground with two no shows and a one and a half hour break to make tea, contemplate my diary, chat to a work mate about her baking a cake for her childs first time of the month as a celebration and a quick pee before driving home to our house which had descended into darkness. My mother and the aupair where almost frozen sitting in coats, my husband miles away on an art job, mobile light in hand I braved the switch board of electrics and the boiler controls, he said just press boost and the heating will come on! I am now heated nicely after a double whisky and the boost button! Mother had just informed me the bathroom lights are not working but the hot water is on and she has just finished brushing her teeth with Pickels paintbrush, I shall brave my nightime activites with cauction.